Im a pretty
pretentious person, believe it or not. I dont know if my
admittance makes it any better or if that itself is pretentious.
Probably. Anyway, its final exam week and Im here just trying to
study for my 11th century Norwegian poetry final, and maybe it was
a dream, J.D. Salinger in the flesh appears in my bedroom. Okay, I
know it sounds crazy and it could have been a caffeine and lack of
sleep induced hallucination but I swear it was real. He was
actually standing there watching me. Deb. Y-yes? I was mildly
terrified. If Holden were here with us do you know what he would
say? Make that extremely terrified. I just looked at him with
saucer eyes and my mouth agape. He would call you a phony. What?
Im not a phony!
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Next in line
was Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli fame. Oh, we made
a bad decision lip synching, Fab cried.We are now destined to an
eternity of punishment only fit for those who pretend. Rob
whispered in agony. Beginning to feel sick to my stomach, J.D.
approached me. Have you seen enough to change your ways, mortal?
I nodded my head so slightly I didnt think he would even see it.
All of a sudden I felt faint and everything went black. There was a
bright light and my eyes hurt, I looked at my twin bell alarm clock
and it read five a.m. I must have fallen asleep while studying, I
guess. But what happened felt so real. I have been really phony
lately, it was probably just a subconscious thing. Then I saw it on
my desk. A copy of The Catcher in the Rye, I dont own a copy of
The Catcher in the Rye. I opened it open to the front cover and
there was a crash of my dopping the book and accidentally knocking
over a vase in the process. Inside was inscribed; Remember what
and who you saw, for this could be your eternity. Signed,
J.D.
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